Defying Stereotypes in Your Sixties: Alison Weihe on Ageing, Freedom and Coming Home to Yourself
At 60, Alison Weihe became a speaker, published a book, and finally stopped fighting her body. On the other side of fraud, grief and decades of disordered eating - what she found.
I love ageing. Isn't that an extraordinary perspective?
Experiencing each passing year as an extraordinary gift has a deeper meaning for me.
Photo: Alison Weihe
At 60 years old, I changed the entire trajectory of my life. To become a speaker, a writer, a vulnerable storyteller. It made sense for my whole life.
I love ageing because I get to look back and connect the dots. I love ageing because I get to see our children grow and evolve with such grace and wisdom. To see our friends evolve and grow. To see so many of our friends living a life of love and contribution in a country like South Africa, where it really matters.
I love ageing. I do not deny it or defy it. I merely live in grace.
Having battled and overcome anxiety, depression, extreme yo-yo dieting and eating disorders, I have finally found peace.
My health journey began at 52 when I was on my knees, having undergone a devastating internal fraud in our company. I was forced to rebuild company systems, staff morale, and our marriage, but above all, I was forced to rebuild myself.
From couch potato to gym to running regular half marathons, something shifted. Movement silenced the barking dog in my head. I changed not just the shape of my body but the shape of my soul.
At the age of 60, the journey became a deeper spiritual journey, following a ten-day silent meditation retreat and the passing of my mother. It became a journey of the soul.
I have not weighed myself for six long years. From the torment of the scale, I have found liberation. My calling is to help others find liberation from the torment in their souls, in their body and in their minds. The torment of not good enoughness, of constant comparison, the demons that plagued me for most of my life until I started sharing my story. In that sharing came healing. I had brought my shame into the light.
Now, I defy stereotypes. I feel younger every year since I turned 60. My husband says he has a "second wife"! I am unrecognisable from who I used to be.
I don't run races anymore. I go to the gym, and I love reformer pilates, swimming, yoga, and standup paddleboarding. My husband and I love dancing. Date nights. I live a weightless, dietless life. I eat intuitively, savouring every mouthful in a calm presence, something that was so alien to me for most of my life. Food had been my enemy, my tormentor, my manipulator, my seducer. It lured me in. I claimed it was numbness. My pattern of emotional eating was fueled by the trauma I felt growing up, with the constant threats of suicide that played out again and again. Things felt so out of control. For my whole life, I'd been so desperately trying to control my eating, to control my weight.
Maybe then I would fit in. Maybe then I would be loveable.
But it wasn't what I was eating — it was what was eating me. I had to understand the patterns of my pain.
The anguish in my soul could not be stilled through words but only through movement, through finding myself, through my body. From numbness, disassociation and living in despair to finally living in alignment is why I celebrate ageing. Living in my body and less in my head has allowed me to live in greater peace.
What I love most about being in my 60s is that I have never felt more alive, living in alignment and purpose.
I don't obsess about my body. I don't judge my body. I love hiking, swimming, and being outdoors. I just get on with life. I live in spirit with an intensity that surprises me.
Sometimes I look at those old pictures of me and I cannot recognise the woman I used to be. Now I want to be strong, to make memories, to play with my grandchildren and to travel, to support my team and live a life of meaning and contribution.
That keeps me young.
Oh, and my husband says he adores his "second wife". She is way more fun.
If anything in this piece has resonated personally, support is available. You can contact Mind at mind.org.uk or call the Samaritans any time on 116 123 — both are free and confidential.