Networking Tips for Women Who Hate Networking (But Know It Matters)
I'll be honest: I used to hate networking. The word alone conjured something performative and slightly uncomfortable… a room full of people exchanging business cards and elevator pitches, everyone quietly wondering if the person they're talking to is useful enough to warrant a follow-up.
That version of networking is a waste of time. But the real version (building genuine relationships with interesting, ambitious women who expand your world) is one of the most valuable things you can do for your business and yourself. Some of the best conversations I've had in recent years have come from events where nothing "useful" happened in the traditional sense. No client wins, no immediate opportunities. Just women doing interesting things and being honest about how they're doing them.
The difference between networking feeling hollow and networking feeling worthwhile is almost entirely about how you approach it. Here's what's actually helped me.
1. Reframe what it actually is
Networking isn't self-promotion. It's relationship-building, and most women are already good at that. The transactional version feels uncomfortable because it is uncomfortable. The relational version feels like having a good conversation, because that's what it is.
When you introduce yourself, lead with who you are and what you care about rather than what you sell. People connect with purpose far more readily than with a polished pitch.
2. Get comfortable talking about what you do well
This one trips up a lot of women, and I include myself in that. You don't have to brag - but you do need to be clear and confident about what you do and why you're good at it. If people don't understand your strengths, they can't support you, recommend you, or think of you when an opportunity comes up.
If this feels difficult, Fuck Being Humble by Stefanie Sword-Williams is genuinely worth reading. It's one of those books that gives you permission to stop shrinking yourself professionally, which most of us have been quietly doing for years.
3. Show up as yourself, not a polished version
The strongest connections aren't built on performance. They're built on honesty, curiosity and the kind of warmth that comes from actually being interested in other people. You don't need to be the most impressive person in the room - you need to be the most genuinely present one.
4. Seek out women-focused spaces
General networking events have their place, but women's spaces tend to operate differently… more collaborative, less competitive, and usually more honest about the actual experience of building something. If you haven't found your people yet, try founder meet-ups, women in business groups, or community events in your industry. The right room changes everything.
5. Think beyond events
Networking doesn't require a venue. Some of my most useful professional relationships have started in LinkedIn comments, mastermind groups, industry Slack channels or founder communities online. The medium matters less than the consistency - showing up regularly in spaces where interesting people gather and being genuinely engaged rather than just present.
6. Go alone sometimes
Attending an event solo is uncomfortable for about ten minutes, and then it's fine. You're more approachable, more focused, and far more likely to actually talk to new people rather than spending the evening with someone you already know. Give yourself one goal: have three proper conversations before you leave. That's it.
7. Follow up properly
Most connections die because nobody follows up. A short message within 48 hours (referencing something specific from your conversation) is all it takes to turn a meeting into a relationship. It doesn't have to be elaborate.
"It was lovely to meet you at [event] — I really enjoyed what you said about [specific thing]. Let's stay in touch" is enough.
8. Don't underestimate your weaker connections
Your closest friends and colleagues already know the same people you do. It's the looser connections (the person you met briefly at a conference two years ago, the woman you follow on LinkedIn but have never spoken to) who are most likely to introduce you to opportunities you'd never find otherwise. Reach out occasionally. It's rarely as awkward as you expect.
9. Create your own spaces
You don't have to wait for an invitation. Organising something small (a founder brunch, a virtual coffee for women in your niche, a group thread) positions you immediately as a connector rather than a participant. It doesn't need to be big or formal. It just needs to be intentional.
The best network I've built hasn't come from aggressive outreach or working a room. It's come from showing up consistently in the right spaces, being genuinely interested in people, and following through when I said I would. That's available to everyone… including the women who swear they hate networking.