How to Build Self-Confidence as a Female Entrepreneur - Without Faking It
Confidence isn't the prerequisite. It's the result.
Confidence is everywhere - in Instagram captions, team training slides, podcast soundbites. We’re told to speak with it, lead with it, sell with it.
But what if you don’t feel it yet?
As women in business, we’re often told to “be more confident” - without ever being shown how. Or worse, we’re made to believe confidence is something you either have or you don’t. That it’s a prerequisite for action.
In reality? It’s the result of action.
Confidence doesn’t come first. Movement does. And the belief we’re waiting for? It grows as you go.
Why So Many Women Don’t Feel Ready - Even When They Are
In a well-known Hewlett-Packard study, researchers found that women only applied for jobs when they met 100% of the criteria. Men applied at 60%. That’s not a gap in ability - it’s a gap in self-permission.
From early on, many of us are taught to wait until we’re certain. To polish the pitch. To speak perfectly, not powerfully. To stay likeable, non-threatening, unimpeachably “together”.
So we delay the launch. We hesitate to speak. We stay quiet until we’re sure.
But confidence doesn’t come from waiting.
It comes from moving before you feel ready - and discovering, I can do this.
Confidence Comes From Movement, Not Certainty
The most quietly powerful women I know didn’t start confident. They acted unsure - and built belief with every step forward.
Confidence isn’t a fixed trait. It’s a skill. A rhythm. And it grows with evidence.
“The actions of confidence come first; the feelings come later.” — Dr Russ Harris
It’s not about pretending. It’s about proving to yourself - over time - that you can handle more than you thought. Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when your voice shakes.
The Real Fear Isn’t Failing - It’s Being Seen Trying
Most of us aren’t afraid of failing. We’re afraid of being seen trying.
Of launching and it flopping.
Of speaking up and getting it wrong.
Of showing our work before it’s polished.
But here’s the truth: Confidence is built in the moment of exposure, not after the applause. It doesn’t arrive once you’ve nailed it - it grows in the awkward, imperfect middle.
If you’re waiting to feel certain, you’ll be waiting forever.
Confidence isn’t the reward for getting it right. It’s what grows when you show up anyway.
You’re Not Lacking Confidence. You’re Building It.
Even now - years into business - I still have moments of doubt. But I no longer see doubt as a stop sign. It’s just a moment to pause, reassess and keep going with intention.
Confidence doesn’t mean never wobbling. It means knowing you can hold yourself steady when you do.
6 Ways to Build Confidence Without Faking It
Confidence isn’t about waiting until you feel perfect. It’s built through small, deliberate acts of self-trust - repeated often.
Here’s where it begins:
Set a boundary and stick to it without apology
Say no to a client who isn’t aligned
Ask for what you’re worth and don’t explain it away
Speak up in a meeting even if your voice shakes
Launch something before you feel “ready enough”
Reflect on your wins weekly and claim them
Each of these actions adds a brick to your foundation. They’re not loud. They’re steady. And they work.
“The only real failure? Not trying at all.”
Confidence Doesn’t Always Look Like You Think
We’ve confused confidence with charisma. With boldness, volume, dominance.
But the most confident women I know don’t shout. They don’t perform.
They speak clearly - because they trust themselves.
They own their space - because they’ve earned it.
Confidence isn’t about being the loudest in the room. It’s about knowing you deserve to be there.
Still wondering how to feel more confidence?
Here’s the truth:
Do I have to feel confident to get started?
No. You just need to to move.
What if I doubt myself?
Then you’re human. Doubt and confidence can co-exist.
How do I build it?
By doing. By deciding. By trusting yourself - especially when it’s not perfect.
Confidence is not something you wait for. It’s something you cultivate - in the small, consistent, deeply courageous decision to back yourself a little more than you did yesterday.
👉 What would you do today if you trusted that confidence is already growing inside you?
Start there. Let that be enough.
