Why It’s Okay to Spend on Quality

How emotional money blocks show up - and what it means to choose something beautiful anyway.

By Shannon Kate Murray, founder & editor of high flying design

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Growing up, I always appreciated quality.

Not flash or big brands - just the things that made everyday life feel a little more beautiful.

Miss Dior perfume. Estée Lauder Double Wear Foundation (yep, full-face in sixth form). MAC Lipstick. GHD straighteners. Paperchase - the whole shop, especially if you had a matching set. A MacBook Pro, if you were lucky.

They were little luxuries. Tiny upgrades that made you feel like you mattered.

But choosing those things for myself - even when I could afford them? That took a while.

Maybe you get it. These days, it might be a cream Smeg kettle that makes mornings feel calmer. Linen sheets that actually hold their shape. A proper office chair. Framed art prints that feel intentional, not mass-produced. A bag that won’t fall apart by Friday.

Or maybe it’s something deeper - a coaching session, a brand shoot, a laptop upgrade you’ve put off for months. A quiet “yes” to the next version of you.

For me, it was a kettle and toaster set. I didn’t need them. But I wanted them - for the next chapter. For the home I’ll create. For the future I’m building.

It was a faith purchase. A little “I believe in you” to myself. A reminder that I’m becoming the woman I always dreamed of being - and she deserves a beautiful kitchen.

And yes - I’m deeply grateful. Grateful for the roof over my head. For the work I get to do. For the women I get to support and the future I’m still creating.

But gratitude and desire can co-exist.

You don’t need to shrink one to prove the other. You can love what you have and still want more for yourself. That’s not selfish - that’s growth.

Why we feel weird spending on ourselves

If you’ve built your life around being careful, or practical, or self-sufficient, spending on something that feels luxurious - even just to you - can trigger all kinds of thoughts:

“Who do I think I am?”

“Shouldn’t I save that money?”

“What will people think?”

I get it. I drive a nice car - and I still justify it by telling people I needed something reliable after breaking down on the M25 in a cheap runaround.

I still explain away quality purchases with little disclaimers:

“Oh, it was on sale.”

“I got a great deal - I didn’t pay full price.”

“I needed it anyway.”

Sometimes I lie about the price - just so people won’t judge.

It’s wild, isn’t it? How deep the conditioning goes. Especially if you grew up hearing things like:

“This is why we can’t have nice things.”

That phrase stuck with me.

So did the fear of being “too much,” or the quiet worry that wanting better made me ungrateful.

I wasn’t told not to dream big - I did dream big.

But I was often underestimated. Told I couldn’t.

So I became someone who believed she could.

And yet still, sometimes… it’s hard to receive. To own what I want. To believe that I’m allowed to have nice things - not just for show, but for me.

Humble, Not Hiding

I want to be clear: this isn’t about excess. Or proving anything. Or spending for the sake of it.

It’s about permission.

It’s about breaking the link between humility and self-denial.

You can be humble - and still own beautiful things. You can be grounded - and still upgrade your life.

Every time we settle for “just okay,” we send ourselves a message:

You’re not quite there yet. You haven’t earned the better version.

But what if that’s not true?

What if you are there - and the only thing standing in the way is an old belief?

What You Own Doesn’t Define You. But It Can Reflect You.

I’ve noticed how easily we question one-off, meaningful purchases - yet think nothing of £6 lattes or streaming subscriptions, or throwaway trends.

We tell ourselves:

“It’s too much.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Maybe next time.”

But sometimes, choosing the better option is more than a purchase. It’s an act of self-respect.

In business, it’s often easier. A photoshoot? A coach? A tech upgrade? Easy yes. It feels strategic - justifiable. But for personal life? It hits different.

I’m currently living with my grandparents, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell them how much my Emma Bridgewater mug cost. It felt… too indulgent. Too far. But why?

Maybe because my childhood home was repossessed. Maybe because “home” still feels fragile in some ways. Maybe because I’m still working through those old, sneaky upper-limit beliefs about what I’m allowed to have.

It’s Not About Stuff - It’s About Self-Belief

That kettle and toaster? They’re in my “bottom drawer” now - my nan’s term for the things you collect in quiet faith for the life you’re building.

They’re not for show. They’re not for guests.

They’re for me.

Because maybe the point isn’t the stuff at all.

Maybe the point is that you back yourself now.

That you’re choosing things that support the life you’re growing into - not the one you’ve outgrown.

You Don’t Have to Explain It

If today looks like choosing the version you actually want - not the cheapest, not the just-okay one - let that be okay.

Buy the kettle. Book the session. Upgrade the car. Use the good mug.

You don’t need to explain. You don’t need to earn it. You don’t need permission.

Your next chapter is already unfolding - and it’s safe to enjoy it.

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